One can offer support from many places. What matters most is that the place from which support is offered is useful to the person being supported.
I primarily offer online and in-person therapeutic support based on these two approaches (and other influences):
The Gestalt approach and the Systemic approach.
Does that sound like Greek? Let me translate it for you.
But first, let me summarize it.
Gestalt approach: “let's see what's happening to you with what you're telling me”.
Systemic approach: “let's see how your family environment has affected you from your early stages up to today”.
Does that sound less like Greek? I hope so.
Am I leaving things out? A lot.
That's why I'm going to give you more detailed explanations about how I see these two approaches, plus some touches on other influences.
A premise: What is human is rarely black or white. There are always nuances. In an individual therapy session, I'm not thinking about which concept to use according to what you're telling me; instead, I let myself be guided by my curiosity, intuition, and knowledge. What I'm going to explain here is theoretical to satisfy your thirst for knowledge and not something I use as a manual.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.VIVIAN GREENE
The Gestalt Approach
From this approach, in an individual therapy session, we look at how you feel and how you act in the world. We can also see what role you have in your life and what role "the other" has in your life.
The pillars of this approach are:
Awareness
It is an essential tool in any therapy. In Gestalt, it constitutes the beginning of every process and every part of the process. The goal of developing a refined capacity for awareness is to allow you to clearly see what was previously hidden from you for whatever reason.
The Here and Now
With attention in the present, we can explore the emotions, thoughts, and patterns that accompany you day by day. The here and now is not limited to the closest present. For example, if we are exploring an event from the past, focusing on the "here and now" of that time means being able to realize what was happening at that moment. This serves to update beliefs and patterns that were generated in the past and that no longer "serve."
Responsibility
Assuming responsibility for what you feel is taking ownership of emotions and behaviors so that from there, you can decide what and how to change. Do not confuse this responsibility with guilt. If something unpleasant happened to you because someone acted without respecting you, it's not your fault.
Self-regulation
Self-regulation is the ability of a person to know what is best for them. In this sense, the therapist cannot know or tell you what is best for you. My task is to help you discover it by accompanying you.
In my individual therapy sessions, in-person or online, I use these concepts to accompany you on your personal growth journey.
There are more concepts related to Gestalt that I also use during a session, but these are the main ones, to give you an idea.
If the Gestalt approach represents the humanistic component of my approach, the Systemic goes further and enters what can be defined as transpersonal.
No man is an island entire of itself.
JOHN DONNE
The Systemic Approach
We are social beings; we need others to live.
Thus, we are part of something bigger than ourselves: our family system.
If you imagine a triangle where at the top vertex you are, the rest of the triangle is made up of your family, the entire family.
The vertex, without the rest of the triangle, could not exist. Thus, your birth has been possible thanks to the births of those who came before you.
From the systemic approach, we look at where you are in front of your system, how you are in front of it, and what relationships you have with its elements.
Order
An important concept in this approach is Order.
As we have seen, there is an order of arrival in the world.
Your parents before you.
Your grandparents before your parents.
Etc... But also:
Your older siblings before you.
Your younger siblings after you.
The siblings who were not born before you. And after.
If two people in a system change places, for example, if a daughter takes care of her mother from an early age, disorder, confusion, and imbalance are generated throughout the system. The entire system is affected by disorder somewhere.
Restoring the order of a system is a task for the system as a whole. But in therapy, we can work on your own position in your system.
Belonging
Each person in the family belongs to the family system and, therefore, has their own rightful place.
Therefore, where there is rejection, contempt, or unjustified distancing of someone from the system, an imbalance is created. And all members of the system are affected.
If you feel that your system rejects you, it can be frightening. Since we are not islands and we rightfully belong to our family, rejection is perceived as something dangerous.
Often, the danger found in rejection is not "deadly." That is, when we are adults, we are not going to die because our family, or someone in the family, rejects us.
It hurts, yes, a lot.
It confuses, obviously.
It gives rage and helplessness.
Something similar happens if the rejected person is not us, but a brother, a sister, an uncle, a parent, etc.
The "artificial" absence creates an imbalance, which generates disorder.
From the systemic approach, it is possible to try to restore, at least internally, the sense of belonging of the excluded.
Belonging is a complex issue that can be observed in non-family environments, such as friendships, work, collectives, etc.
When there is a solid internal sense of belonging, we know what our place in the world is and then we can live more fully.
Balance (Giving and Receiving)
Another axis of the systemic approach is the balance between giving and receiving.
We cannot give our parents the same or more than what they have given us.
We cannot take more than necessary.
We cannot give what we do not have.
These concepts are as basic as they are difficult to put into practice.
Balance, in the end, is at the base of any "healthy" system.
It may sound abstract, but if during individual therapy sessions a topic related to your system arises, we will explore it and it will be easier to understand.
The more one knows what one is looking for, the less one knows what one is looking for. He who accepts the mystery may be better able to resonate with how mysterious life is.
CLAUDIO NARANJO
Other Approaches
Besides the previous approaches, when I work in individual or online therapy sessions, I rely on other knowledge I have acquired throughout my life and training.
In my own process of self-knowledge and training, I have had the opportunity to experience and practice more spiritual methods, such as Buddhism and meditation.
These practices help me connect with something bigger than myself and experience a deep level of connection with humanity from my own experiences.
I have studied and practiced NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), where I have been able to observe and feel the power of words over the mind and emotions. This approach is used more in coaching but continues to be part of my sessions.
I have also discovered that art and writing are powerful tools to accompany change processes. I lead improvisation workshops and see how giving people the possibility to express themselves and create spontaneously facilitates positive change.
I believe that art in general allows us to express ideas that words cannot reach.
For many years, fortunately, we have been talking about trauma and its consequences in everyone's life. My personal growth process has led me, and continues to lead me, to confront the beliefs, fears, and confusion of my own traumas. Although each person lives their traumas individually, knowing mine helps me to be more present with the person in front of me.
Do you want to get to know yourself a little more?
If you've made it this far, perhaps you'd like to start a personal growth process with me.
I would be honored to accompany you and witness your discovery.
I am available to conduct in-person sessions in Figueres and also online.
On my contact page, you can find out how to get in touch with me.